As Winter Fades Away

by Downstream

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1.
04:03
2.
02:19
3.
03:41
4.

about

This album is specifically about learning to live with the darkness in life and not letting it's weight pull you back.
It's about learning to let go of your hatred and letting your demons die.
It's about accepting the fact that you may need help along the way, and understanding that change takes time.
It's about finding hope and light again.
It's about learning to love.

We hope this makes you feel something.

credits

released September 18, 2014

Daniel Walton, Corbin Giroux, Adrian Barna, Evan Alfano, Nick Consoli

Produced/Mixed by: Sam Guaiana

Mastered by: Andy Krehm at Silverbirch Productions

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Downstream Hamilton, Ontario

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Track Name: Canvas
I'm drifting once again into this horrendous sleep.
You're screaming in my ear, but I'm deafened by the sounds of my misery.

But you still, drag me around and pull me in the wrong direction.
Yet I still extend my hand,
I still extend my hand.

I choke on every word, I try to stand up straight.
Maybe you've noticed all the changes in my life.

I can't hold myself up.
I'm doing something wrong.
Just give me a minute and let me sort this out.
Just let me take some time and catch my breath.

I'm your canvas.
Leave your mark on me and make me beautiful.
Make me feel more appealing.

Just drag me around, and pull me in the right direction.
Show me what it means to feel alive.
Track Name: Mother
Mother, I'm convinced that I'm simply not fit for this, or anything that could come my way.
You know I'd fuck it all up, anyway.
So why do I try.

So I'll lay on my back, and sleep another day away.
Hoping this will change.

What if no one's listening when I speak of how it's been; sleeping with my own worst enemy.
For more than 19 years and 30 days, I think it's only fair to say, I'm sick and I'm tired of dreaming when I sleep.

I'm a train on rusty tracks, and I'm dying to get out of here alive.
Track Name: Home
You still bite your tongue when I ask what he did.
Nothing but cowardice could come from this.
It's all the same.

I see you through your window.
You're crying to your mother.
She's heard it all before.
And she knows that he won't be there.
He won't be there this time.
You're on your own.

Closed minds will never open. So you can stop wasting your time on him.
Your damp eyes are falling out of your skull into his hands, into the rain.

You still bite your tongue, because you love him.
Or so you've said.
This time I'll bite my tongue because you love him.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
What does it mean when you come home every night in tears from the words he said.

I know you walked home alone.
You're bearing bruises on your feet from running away from him for the past two years of your fucking life.
He won't be there this time.
You're on your own.

You're on your own.
Please come home.
We miss the days when you smiled with all of your teeth.
Please come home.
Track Name: Desperation and Grief
Part I: I Used to Feel Everything

I'll lie on my back, and lie to myself.
Pretend that I am fine.
I think that I'm getting better, but I think a lot.
I'll lie on my back and talk to myself, just to pass the time.
I think I'm getting better, but it's getting too much.
You're too much.

Something inside of me is dying and I'm sure of it.
I'm figuring it out, it's my darker half.
It's the part of me that refuses sleep.
It's the part that I would hate to keep.
It's the part I've wanted dead for all of these years.
So I guess it's not that bad.

I swear I'm not a monster, I'm just fighting one.
God knows I can't do this on my own, and I gave up on God, long ago.
So, I guess this is me begging for your help, because there's no one around here anymore.

Something inside of me is dying, and it's killing me.
But I'm figuring it out, it's what you left behind.
It's those words you whispered into my ear, the ones that I believed all last year.
The words that robbed me of my sanity.

You don't know the difference between desperation and grief.
Who gives a fuck anyway.

My tear stained eyes have blurred my vision to the point where I can't see what's in front of me.
But I hear your footsteps, I know you're somewhere right behind me.

You don't know the difference between desperation and grief.
Who gives a fuck anyway.


Part II: Letting Go

Mother, I swear to God, she's coming home.
She'll paint your walls, she'll make it beautiful again.
Just show her what she needs to feel okay.

I'm letting go of your hand to show you I can do this on my own.

Please believe in me, I swear that I'll see you soon.

This story broke me down, and tore me apart.
So I'll just sit, and watch as winter fades away.